Please guide me urgently

[iwwtush]

Hi,
I need your advice urgently.

In my office your we have team of 9 s/w developers.
All are in same team for at least 6 years.
there r 2 female colleagues both r married . We r all good friends.

Now 2 days b4 one female colleague (age 38) confided with me that 1 male colleague (age 45) asked her if he can kiss her and wanted physical intimacy with her.
He tried to get close to her in server room and touched her on shoulder.
She was shocked. she tried to explain him what he is doing is wrong and she will never do it.
He said take your time he is ready to wait.

They both work on same project seat next to each other and for 2 days she is acting in front of everyone as nothing is happened.
But she is very tensed.
she says that since she has to work with him all time she is not ready to make it public, also fearing for her job.

She has also not told her husband.
after 3 days of her explaining to colleague how wrong he is, he has toned done, but still says he can wait.

She is like older sister to me.
What should we do?
Please guide me urgently, I will be very thankful to you.

[admin]

It is good that you want to help her in this situation. And in this man dominated Indian society, Indian working woman face unexplained pressure in such awkward situation. This is reflected by her not divulging this to her our husband who has an Indian male ego who will tell this to all his/her relatives and may suspect her character ultimately demeaning her working career.
This is clear case of sexual harassment at workplace as per Indian Supreme Court's Vishaka Guidelines.

You should talk to lady( age 38) about this Vishaka Guidelines and ask her to complain in writing to your HR department. If she does this, she can then have option to change her team or the culprit from the team.

Vishaka guidelines also ensure that this lady ( age 38) is not subjected to any reprisals by company for making this sexual harassment complaint.
Private companies may not like to receive complaint in writing. But in any case they'd appreciate if she tells them this problem by word. Most likely this will work and the culprit will be strictly warned. If that does not solve it then she can file this complaint in writing.

She can also ask company's sexual harassment policy and complaint procedure - it is document every company must have published at prominent places in company premises as per Supreme Court's guidelines.

It'd be better if you or she can talk to some more female colleagues and ask for their support also.

On her personal life, she must immediately inform her parents, and try to take her husband into confidence about this incident. This will result in increasing trust between her and her husband.

We can also help you, but one email from us to your company may make your HR run into tizzy as such incidents blacken company image and all private companies (unfortunately) first priority is usually to salvage their image rather thinking about the welfare of the victim woman.
This may be help for the victim lady:

16 Important things you need to do if you suffer from sexual harassment

[admin]

Also this lady should ask her husband to meet the culprit and "request" him to refrain from doing it decently. Seeing this trust between the couple, the culprit will sense it and back-off without any bad feelings. I think this is the simplest way to handle this.

[emeraldcandice]

I would say that it would be a lot better that she let her husband know about this. It is the husband's right to know his wife's situation for them to find a better solution. I understand that she is afraid of losing her job but what is a job that sinks your into shame and into being a victim of sexual harassment. As early as after that day, she should have consulted an attorney of sexual harassment.

[Sanarangwala]

Hi iwwtush , I am wondering if you or your friend are willing to share your story. It would be part of a larger project which stress the message to women to stand up to sexual harassment. Your identities would be completely concealed.

Thank,

Sana