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My senior harassing me sexually - need advice

03-10-2012, 09:33 PM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 10:31 AM by admin.)
Post: #1
Question My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
I work in a MNC in pune, I lodged this below given complaint by mail today, I was sick of that guy and his blackmailing, but I'm afraid, what to do next, what will they do. The head mailed me to meet him tomorrow.
I'm afraid that guy will show some Sms I sent him due to his blackmailing, like good morning, I miss u etc,, but they are very few. Please, help me what should I do now.



To,
The Head,
Company name,
Pune

Subject: to complain about sexual harassment

Sir,
With respect to the above mentioned subject myself, <Name Sniped> want to draw your attention to the misconduct and abusive behavior of <Name Sniped> Asst.Manager R&D Dept.
He has been torturing me in different ways enlisted below. I am very unstable emotionally and mentally due to all this things; my personal life is getting ruined due to this person. He blackmailed me for so many days and I kept quite but when I shared these things with my close friends, they encouraged me to speak out and so I am finally able to lodge a complaint. Below are my objections.
  • He keeps questioning about my personal life so that to comment on it. He shows unnecessary interest in my personal life.
  • Tries to convince me to stay late in the office after working hours.
  • Gestures his eyes, fingers in abusive way saying “we will do this if you just stay..” etc
  • When I try to tell him that I am committed please don’t behave like that, he says, “nobody will know, I assure you” etc
  • His behavior is always flirty with girls, this thing is easily notable by many fellow colleagues specially Maharashtrians
  • Proposed me for marriage many times, even if knowing that I am committed. When denied he would say “doesn’t matter we will just stay like that” etc
  • Whenever there is nobody around, he tries to touch my intimate parts, or keeps touching his own giving odd facial expressions or using vulgar words.
  • He said, if I don’t talk friendly with him, he will spread rumors about me in the company.
  • He tells me to send him friendly or personal SMS so that he can show off in his friend circle.
  • He threatened me if I don’t do like that he will create problems in my works and project bad image of mine to my seniors (which would ruin my career) saying that they all are his friends as all are south Indians.
  • I tried to avoid him many times even I quit talking to him but due to work I have to go to him and he takes advantage of that and approaches me in different ways to start conversation and do vulgar things.
  • He makes fun of me in his friends, in intangible (Tamil/Telugu) language that I don’t understand and they laugh at me.
  • When I told him I will complain this to my parents or in the office, he says “I don’t belong here nobody can harm me in any ways.” etc
  • And many odd and indecent things which I can not talk or write about…
Sir, I request you to take appropriate actions about this person, it is quite impossible for me to work if he is staying in the company premises.
After lodging this complain I am afraid of negative publicity and I will be threatened/hurt as he used to say. I am already living a frustrated life because of him, so I request you to keep all these things highly confidential, please don’t talk or inquire about these things to my colleagues else it will be hard for me to live a normal life. If I hurt myself due to these tensions or somebody hurts me, he and the authorities will be solely responsible.
My friends told me to file FIR in police under ‘working women protection acts’ etc. Or request help from Maharashtra Navnirman Sena, but I truly believe in positive, secular and unbiased nature & decision making policy of our company. So I avoided all this and I am requesting justice that he must pay for all his deeds. I trust that your decisions will bring satisfaction and peace to my restless mind.


Yours sincerely
<Name Sniped>
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04-10-2012, 11:15 AM (This post was last modified: 30-08-2013 10:25 AM by admin.)
Post: #2
RE: My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
Hello, I'm sorry for this unfortunate situation - your superior is playing you because he seems to know that you'll keep silent.
You've done right thing by sending this complaint to the company's head and now he is supposed to act as per Supreme court's Vishaka guidelines.

Have you gone through this check list? Don't forget to buy the recording device listed there.

What proof do you have of your complaint to your company head? Ideally you should send him by email(BCC/CC to other friends, relatives and govt departments). Even Speedpost is also fine. The only thing is that you should not be in position that "you never complained in the first step" if your company alleges this.

At this moment you must take help from your parents, sister, brothers etc.

Using help from political parties may create problem to your company. First talk to your head first. If you don't do the minimum steps - nobody will do this for you in this world. You company head will definitely try to suppress this case for company's image and reputation.

Yes yours is clear case of filing FIR. I strongly recommend this - take help from women activists in your city. In that case your company will be forced to act against the culprit and moreover your company will not be able to take revenge against you or do anything to harm you as per Supreme court's Vishaka guidelines.

The minimum thing you must do now is to keep a proof of your complaint( that you've raised with your company) and also never take back you complaint for whatever reasons - unless good financial compromise is worked out which is very unlikely when in media uproar.
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 Thanks given by: sss
04-10-2012, 09:25 PM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 10:29 PM by admin.)
Post: #3
RE: My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
Dear admin,
Thank you for your quick reply, it helped me think in positive way.
i want to ask your advice about things enlisted below.

  1. One of my senior who is like brother to me said that i am doing foolish things, this will ruin my career. Once i file a case it will take years to make justice and i will be jobless throughout the time span.
  2. I fear he may utter some wrong things about me during investigation. how shall i defend them?
  3. Shall i inform the same matter to my fellow colleagues???
  4. What is the minimum punishment and compensation he will be liable of?
  5. They didn't mention any committee to me over my complain, what to do?

Other things i have emailed you. please reply.
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04-10-2012, 10:59 PM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 11:01 PM by admin.)
Post: #4
RE: My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
Have a recording device right now. Carry with you when you go and meet senior guys.

I clearly see lack of awareness in you, you need support of enlightened people, not those(your senior) who live in dark. It isn't difficult to get justice for you. Self respect is also of some worth at least.

First golden rule is never trust with your company employees. You Head may be guiding him. Secondly don't trust your Head. He is there to save company and steer clear of hassles only for him and his company. He will not hesitate to fire you at the first opportunity. You must give a complaint letter right now to labor commissioner in your area.

Here are my answers.

  1. One of my senior who is like brother to me said that i am doing foolish things, this will ruin my career. Once i file a case it will take years to make justice and i will be jobless throughout the time span.

    Our society is full of such cowards. If you fight for justice, many will appreciate you and support you. Believe this coward and live a life without self-respect.
    I don't think you'll lose as such. If you file complaint with Police or any government authority, as per Vishaka guidelines you can't be punished or fired. Also if company really dislikes you, after this episode is over, it will still fire you say after 1 year or so. Well if your company does not take any action against such depraved persons harassing you, just think of the corrupt mentality of your company bosses - there isn't much point in continuing this job further.
  2. I fear he may utter some wrong things about me during investigation. how shall i defend them?

    Let him say and he will try to defend himself and frighten you, after all what are you fighting against? Nobody will bother a culprit's allegations. Just tell him that you'll pull him in court for maligning your image and defamation.
  3. Shall i inform the same matter to my fellow colleagues???

    Of course yes. Nobody wants to work in rotten area. If you'd taken care to inform everybody he would not have gone till this level. Nobody will help those who don't have even least courage. Don't project yourself as "helpless & taken for granted lady" - take some initiative.
    Before you do this, first take into confidence your family members.
  4. What is the minimum punishment and compensation he will be liable of?

    Court is not a solution, it takes 10-20 years to get result from a session court. For that you'll need to file an FIR. Some legal expert will need to answer it correctly. But yes in India it'll be extremely difficult to get any compensation. But more than that you may suffer more in the hands of companies.
  5. They didn't mention any committee to me over my complain, what to do?

    I told you, he will never do. I won't be surprised if he says before govt authorities tomorrow that he never received any complaint from you! File an FIR or complain to labor commissioner or go to court(a expert lawyer could cost Rs. 20-30k for first sitting only). Tell all friends about it, take help from activists. You can even talk to MNS - that'll solve your problems in no time. Go for MNS.
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04-10-2012, 11:50 PM (This post was last modified: 05-10-2012 12:31 AM by admin.)
Post: #5
RE: My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
Dear admin,
please don't get angry with me I am just trying a way out, I mailed my complain via gmail as advised. I Record the talks in my mobile. I'm confused as you first advised to not go to political parties, n now you suggested for MNS.

  1. shall I insist for internal complain committee then? how long will it take to work out.
    I don't want to file FIR and go to court for years, I am not that economically supported.
  2. i am 22-23 years old now, i came from very rural area and poor family, i have all responsibility of my family now, will this affect my career?
  3. cannot this all be solved without filing FIR? can i take an apology with details from him on some bond paper? etc what if they agree for this? what precautions I need to take?
  4. I want him expelled from the company, I can not work there if he stays around. Is this punishment liable for his misbehavior? I didn’t really think of compensation yet. I don't want it.


Apology format for example: (will it work?)
Myself<name sniped> with my full conscience, today dated / /2012 admit that, I tortured, harassed my colleague<victim> which is clearly an offense/case under, protection of women against sexual harassment at workplace act. And I admit my mistake and I am liable to corresponding punishment.
> I feel ashamed, guilty and sorry for my misbehavior with her. This kind of things will never happen again with any women in future
by me.
> She and her parents agreed to not to file a case/FIR against me on my request. I am ready to accept the punishment and
compensation they decide to settle this matter for now. Our senior staff will witness the same as undersigned.
> I promise that I will not interfere directly or indirectly by any means in her life and people related to her. If any of such advances
happen to any of them in future I will be solely responsible for fore coming results and liable to the punishment for all kind of
offenses she mentioned in complain against me and whatever more according to the laws.
I will not be spreading any kind of negative or false things/rumors about her anywhere, if such thing is observed I will be responsible.

Documents attached:
> 1.Letter by company about action taken
against<name sniped>
> 2.Complaint letter submitted by<victim>
against<name sniped>
> Witness sign: company head etc
sign& name
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05-10-2012, 12:38 AM
Post: #6
RE: My senior harassing me sexually - need advice
I'm not at all angry. If you badly in need of this job then better discuss with your head and reach an amicable solution and don't think much about punishing the culprit.

In that case don't escalate this to out of company like MNS or labor commissioner. But do tell you Head about these options( as suggested by your relatives). But do keep informed your colleagues about this incident.

If the culprit is ready to give his apology in writing then accept it and keep it safely. Simple apology from his side will do, nothing more will be required. But it should clearly explain what all he did( simple sentence like sexually harassed you will also do).

Pl. post the development here.
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